Hey there Imaginary Friends,
The world, and everything we knew about it, just experienced an extreme paradigm shift. Poof.
One morning we’re living here, in Capatalism Land, the next, we’re stuck at home on the couch, or doing yoga, or… imagining a whole new world.
This is utterly nuts. It’s a crack in the mask of our society, it is a shattered mirror with pieces missing now, and there is an opportunity here.
With this, we get to think about WHAT KIND OF WORLD we want to live in. This is a big freaking deal. If we don’t have to live in this world, then where we do want to live?
I know I’ve spent a decent chunk dreaming about this, as an artist. Using my brushes and paints to capture pretend future memories of where I want to end up. Mostly I paint cob houses, on land, with kids and dogs running around and heavily tattooed people gardening. Ya know, the basics of yes.
I have spent a significant amount of my life working with art, trauma and crises. I use writing, movement, drawing and painting in conjunction with good food, and damn good community to keep my mental/emotional/physical health stable.
I know what it feels like to be terrified. I know how to live inside a gigantic bubble of not knowing. I know how to stay present and connected in the middle of scarcity.
I have made tons of art, comics, unpublished zines, filled sketchbooks, talked to friends, etc all about what having CPTSD is like, because… sadly, a high rate of people have a form of PTSD.
However, what people don’t always realize, discover, or find when they are on their healing journey, is once a person is years into that journey, a type of unfurling growth pattern happens.
The absolute agony of being constantly on guard, auspicious, easily triggered, upset by small sounds, wary of other people, anxiety ridden and depressed from life experiences does one of two things to people, that I have known. It polarizes them. It either shuts them down and sinks them into the muck and mire of victim mentality or it forces them to move faster, dig deeper, demand more of themselves, heal, hurt, heal again, and they become these warrior creatures who not only have survived bullshit, but who reach out and help other people survive too. This process is called Post Traumatic Growth.
I liken Post Traumatic Growth, in one of my comics, to the burls on the trees in Portland. To have a burl, gal, or a tumor on a tree, something has to go wrong with the tree. There needs to be an infestation, an infection, a wound. Then, the tree continues growing, seals up the wound, and grows fresh layers around it, creating these highly prized pieces of wood, that just sing with beauty, under a wood worker’s hands.
There has been many things wrong with our world for such a long time. People hurt inside. For tons of different reasons, with systemic oppression being high on the list.
There’s a crack here right now. Weeds could grow into medicinal plants in this sidewalk, if you, yourself, just snuck in and planted them.
Here are my 5 suggestions for you.
Grab a notebook off the shelf and curl up with your hot morning beverage and make a list of things you feel excited about. Make a second list of things that terrify you. Then make a third list, of things you are grateful for right here, and now.
Set aside your notebook and get up and go for a walk. Take yourself outside and move your body, letting your mind wander. Think about your list, think about nothing, think and move, for 30-45 minutes.
Come back inside and sit back down and write a list of 20 things you want to manifest in your life. Let them be what you want. Hot bod, sexy lover, resources, a cute pitbull puppy, fulfillment at work, a damn good meal cooked by someone else, a community, a connection to a higher power, whatever it is that you want write it down.
Offer Acceptance and Understanding for Yourself. Our current wants show us who we are interested in becoming. They are not actual needs, but they are dreams. Usually underneath those dreams, there is truth and direction. Let that truth guide you towards making one small step today, towards a world you’d like to live in. We change through self acceptance/ support and a generous Curiosity toward the world and our own desires.
Feel free to comment on here, or message me finn@finngravesart.com if you want to share what you want in the world.
Do something kind for yourself, and kind for others.
I have been cooking for my roommates, and dancing in the morning, because I want to be connected to people I love in a nourishing way, and because my heart and body is so filled with grief right now that I am restless and anxious. I feel calmer when I have danced. My psyche descends into my body and I am able to realize that the world is supporting me, and it’s not on my shoulders to support the world. It’s on all of our shoulders. :)
I hope this was useful for you. If it was, please share it with someone else you think will enjoy it.