Good morning there, imaginary friends!

This is less than 6 inches apart. 6 feet is the recommended distance ya’all.

We’re on day three of our official quarantine in Portland, Oregon. The tattoo shop is closed. The mayor has graciously created a memorium on rental evictions that will last six months after the emergency and people are lobbying for a rental freeze. My mother wants me to move home. I am tempted to rescue my sister from one of her 11 golden retriever puppies… and social distancing is being more difficult than I anticipated.

Humans are social pack animals. Google the current social distancing and quarantine memes, and feel into your body the way the cabin fever has already set in.

In any other situation, people would be in rooms together solving this problem, but this time- we’re in our own rooms, toplessly texting our besties, and dreaming up a strange new world. (I know I’m topless at least… and aren’t you my best friends?)

WHY SOCIAL DISTANCING WORKS

Basic overview, if you don’t get close to people, you won’t get as many chances to be infected.
if you are exposed to less people, less germs, less options for your nervous system to be overwhelmed and get sick- then it is less likely you will infect someone else unknowingly.
People have terrible hand washing techniques. I am one of those weirdos who actually washes my hands in public restrooms, and if you are like me, then you know that three out of five women will just dash out the door. Or put their makeup on right after the toilet, and then go out the door. One or two will get their hands wet.
Rarely does someone come right beside me and wash their hands with soap and water, pushing up their sleeves… you know what I mean. Come on admit it. Can you admit it, if I ADMIT I pick my nose in traffic?
If we use social distancing, then the health care system will have an easier time dealing with all of our eventually exposed faces. Sure, you probably won’t get the kinda sick that means you will die, but someone you love could. Imagine your favorite old person or tiny human dying because you didn’t know you were sick. Do you feel shamed? Don’t. Just keep reading, because fuck- I am having trouble keeping my distance from people too.

WHY SOCIAL DISTANCING IS HARD

Have you met any toddlers? My little sister, and my bestie both have toddlers. I specialized in toddlers from Doctor Parents, and I know what toddlers live on. Do you?

Well sure, they live on snacks like bananas, and fruit roll ups, and any veggies we can get into them, and rolling in grass, and mixing up the occasional mud pie- but what they really live on… is attention.
Hanging out with a toddler is exhausting. They run you ragged. They are cute as hell, and terrible as a shit storm in July when the sun is going to bake that shit deeply into your bones, but they thrive on attention. Mommy, mommy, mommy, Auntie, Finny, Auntie, Finny, Finny, Finny- look at me!
We don’t really leave that toddler stage. We grapple with it, adapt to the fact that we are only the center of our own universe, and we accept that “Hey guys! Look at what I can do!” Is socially acceptable only when drinking or actually being fantastic at something- but we don’t leave that state behind, because it’s one of those biologically wired realities. We need other people to notice us. We need to notice other people- because we are deeply social, pack animals.
Space is hard. I am an introvert who extroverts by practice and trade, and I love my alone time. I love being alone in grocery stores, headphone in. I love being alone in book stores, the smells of books all around me. Or researching interesting ideas alone at the library, or shopping for art supplies. Or drawing, alone at the shop before opening up for tattoos. Notice anything about those ideas? I am alone… surrounded by people… by more than half of them. How many times has that been your own, cherished alone time experience?
However… I absolutely hate being alone and forced to be so. The whole point of me getting divorced recently, was so I could go out and DO THINGS THAT I WANTED TO DO… which definitely involved being alone in crowds, and traveling. Or at the very least, connecting with my friends in person. I would bet, you feel that way too.
Example 1:
I have an Aries buddy I love, who is dying to move in with us. She’s not sold on her current living situation. She wants to hunker down with us and spread out in the new space… and she’s stressed out by her roommates response to this global pandemic. I am actually sick. She is pretty damn terrified of germs. She still wants to move in with me.
Example 2:
My buddy, the Libra, got pissed at me (to be fair, she would say we were having a disagreement. My old patterns of teenage abusive relationships still make it so I can’t always tell what the difference between a fight and a disagreement.) yesterday because I had recommended she NOT come over and hang out because fuckballs- I have a cold of some sort and we all know… it could be the Corvid 19.
She, of course, came over.
See that picture at the top of the page?
That’s her and I, not practicing social distancing. Her entire attitude changed. She, I and my roommate ate lunch and talked and laughed about tons of stuff. I put her to work helping me do heavy lifting, she made a list of meals that I could make for her in trade, and we all just had a nice time. BECAUSE WE ARE SOCIAL ANIMALS.
Touch. We all need touch. When we’re not supposed to get close and touch each other- our little human brains go stir crazy. With the Libra, I hugged her a few times, and let her sit on my feet while we drank tea, and she went away, feeling much better, with a belly full of laughter. That is a good and necessary feeling. I also do not recommend you make my choices right now.
My roommate and I, the Tall Aquarius, made a list of five people who we needed to be able to come over and see us. That was our personalized compromise, because we knew that if we didn’t make that list- we wouldn’t make it through the next few weeks with any sanity at all.
All of us right now need to be making choices, compromises, decisions made from our best logical selves. Find a way to connect with people that isn’t in person. But also, be gentle with yourself if you HAVE to have another human near your body.
Your entire physical make up is meant to have people close. Look at how many people have unsafe sexual every year? It takes work to overcome our needs to be next to people’s skins. Allow it to take yourself time to do that work.
Good morning, good luck out in there/out there and around the world. I’ll be here, blogging about my feelings and debating doing an artistic live stream for entertainment.