There’s a buddy of mine that’s going all the way. She’s taking her education to the Ph.D. Level and girl wants me to match her. She has her own, very important, totally useful reasons for doing what she is doing, because she’s in the sciences. I am in the arts.

I am in the arts, and I LOVE people, education, and learning. I always imagined I would go to grad school. In fact, I have interviewed with a couple of grad school for the arts in the area, and settled on PNCA’s Applied Craft and Design program, with Sara Huston as the current head/chairperson.

I met with her. I absolutely loved the space. I loved talking to her, I loved all of the ideas and the way the whole building streamed sunlight in the middle of winter, and people were building things, everywhere. I loved that!

What I don’t love about grad school, is the $90,000 debt I would accumulate from attending for two years. With my current debt of $66,000 for my very useful B.A. in Social Science, that comes out to being the equivalent of a small house on a plot of land, somewhere rural near my mother.

Now, when I see grad school through that lens, my answer is “Hell fucking No!”

But there’s a catch. Actually there’s a few catches within all of these thoughts.

1. Grad School is about networking, critical thinking and independent study, with other artists. That value is astronomical.

2. I love to learn. I love people. I love connecting to them.

3. I am a tattoo apprentice. I will be a tattoo apprentice minimum for the next 10 months. Our busy season is summer, and our slow season is winter.

4. Grad school is busy fall-spring.

5. I want to be a community artist. My big dream is to repurpose a church, create a tattoo studio in the sanctuary, have a farmers market in the parking lot, with a coop grocery/coffee shop/community center in the basement, and to call it The Sanctuary.

6. I need to think about the actual long game. Does grad school keep me in the tattoo shop, coming towards things I want in my life, reguardless of what other people want in their life, or does it further inhibit me?

7. I always wanted to design my own grad school program .

8. I WANT to go to grad school. I want to be surprised by other people. I want to be surrounded by other artists. I want to connect and create and have an adorable portioned off studio, and I want to make sure my ass is covered for the entire time that I am restarting up my tattoo business.

9. I want to have my shop feel that I am loyal to them. That I care about their choices and want to make sure they grow, evolve and connect in ways that work. I have an internal commitment to my shop for five full years. I need to give them that, for them to get usefulness out of teaching me. (They haven’t requested this, and I have agreed to three full years, but I think five is more real.

10. So, could I do both? Could I connect to the community I live in? Could I put in solid time at my shop? Could I go to Grad School? Could I ever get out of debt if I did it?

I have utterly no idea. I have been researching all of this for awhile and the statistics are twisted. Half say fuck yes, grad school makes all of the difference. The other half say, that is a bunch of debt.

I know myself. I love challenges. I love projects. I love GRANDSCALE commitments. Right now, I also need to take care of myself.

Next Tasks are:

Fill out my FAFSA.
Do my Taxes.
Pay all my bills
Go ahead and reach out to PNCA and request a second meeting. Tell them what I am looking for. Tell them my questions and concerns and ask how they could alleviate and absolve them.
Create a portfolio according to PNCA’s requested standards.
See how all of that feels. If it still feels like leaning towards a yes, then apply. I can always say no thank you later. And it’s fifty bucks. Which we all know, doesn’t even pay for vintage shoes in Portland anymore.
Guess I better get ready for some adorably tattooed bare feet. <3